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8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart

8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart

Hey YouTube, Brad Browning here. I’m a relationship coach from western Canada
and today I’m going to share with you some subtle signs that your marriage is falling
apart. The thing is, when problems start to creep
into a marriage, they’re not always obvious. Though most people think of screaming matches
or divorce threats, there are actually many more subtle signs to be weary of. Before I go ahead and share with you the top
eight things to look for, I’d like to take a moment to tell you about a helpful online
quiz that will let you know your odds for saving your marriage, and will also give you
advice for what you should do next. To take the quiz go to Now, let’s get started. 1. Your focus has switched from “us” to “I” When you and your spouse first got together
you were probably in the “us” mindset. You made plans together and worked around
one another’s schedules. While it’s normal for the “honeymoon”
stage to end and for spouses to slip into their own personal routines, if your collective
mindset has switched from “us” to “I” then it’s a sure sign that your marriage
has some underlying issues. 2. Your spouse is not to your go-to person There was likely a time when your spouse was
the person you went to for everything. Whether it was someone to vent to, or someone
to share your daily stories with, he or she was THAT person for you. If either of you have started turning to others
then it could be because your communication is lacking. Remember, it takes openness and honesty for
your marriage to be healthy and go the distance. If this isn’t happening then it could be
a sign that your love life is in trouble. 3. You’re comparing your spouse to others If you find yourself comparing your spouse
to others, or wishing they were more like someone else, then it’s a sure sign that
you’re not totally happy in your marriage. Even if it’s hypothetical, once these kind
of thoughts some creeping in it’s time to take a step back and look for whatever issues
are causing you to feel this way. 4. You’re living separate lives He goes out with his buddies every night after
work. She spends her weekends hanging with her lady
friends. If you and your spouse are living two completely
separate lives then it’s a sure sign that your marriage isn’t in a healthy place. While it’s important that you and your spouse
have your own things on the go, it’s also important that your individual lives don’t
overtake your life as a married couple. 5. You’re wondering “what if” Contemplating what your life would be life
if you made different decisions is normal. However, if you’re constantly asking yourself
what life without your spouse would be like, then it’s a sign that something is up. Happily married couples can’t imagine life
without their partner, which is why this is a warning that something isn’t right. To find out how deep your marital issues run
visit and take the free online test. Based on your results, you’ll also receive
feedback for what you should be doing to turn your marriage around. Again, the URL is 6. You’re keeping score Have you or your spouse been keeping tabs
on who does what? Say for instance, one of you is making more
of an effort to spend time together, or is trying harder to make the other happy. Or, on the other hand, maybe one of you has
been noting all the things the other does “wrong.” When marriages become a tally of who the better
spouse is, then it may be a way for that spouse to convince themselves that you shouldn’t
be together. After all, marriage is about teamwork, not
rivalry. 7. You’re roommates, not lovers While it’s important to be friends with
your spouse, if your relationship feels more like a friendship then a marriage it’s a
sign that something is missing. Yes, it’s great to be able to order in a
pizza and watch Netflix together, but unless there’s some sort of deeper bond then it
may be time to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. A good sign to look for here is if you and
your spouse have to put on an act and pretend to be a happy, loving family around others. If you’re faking it, then that’s a huge
red flag that your marriage is in trouble. 8. You’re not fighting… or loving. As I mentioned in the beginning of this video,
often times couples don’t realize that their marriage has issues if they haven’t been
arguing or fighting. The truth is though, that even if you and
your spouse are getting along swimmingly, if you’re not loving each other then your
marriage may be falling apart. What’s worse is if you’re not fighting
because you’re bottling up your emotions. When this happens resentment starts to build
and before you know it you’re a firecracker just waiting to be lit. That’s why it’s so important to take the
time to check in with your emotions and remember, just because all appears well on the outside,
doesn’t mean it really is… Well, that just about does it for this video,
as always, thanks so much for watching. If you have any questions about what I’ve
covered here feel free to post those in the comments section below, I always love hearing
from you guys. Also, if you like what you learned here and
would like to show your support for my channel you can do so by subscribing and checking
out more of my relationship advice videos. So, until next time take care and all the

44 comments found

  1. Hey brad me and my fiancé were together for a little over 5 years and my fiancé broke up with me a week ago because I lied to her for a year about losing my job. She found out when she came over and my parents told her. We have a 2 year old little boy together and right now she wants to take me to court for child support and is saying she wants nothing to do with me and wants me out of her life. But she still goes on my facebook because she knows the password and she looks at all my unread messages and notifications. Im confused and I don't know what to do any advice?

  2. I have a question that isn't regarding this video but I'm wondering what to do and what it means if your ex that your trying to get back unfriends you from social media?

  3. Hey brand I have a question I kinda cut my 30 day nc by two weeks and now my ex is dateing Someone new and she barely talks to me she's awakened when she does should I disappear again? And Idk if it's a rebound we're only 16 and she's looking at the new guy how she used to look at me

  4. I never notice that you have a wedding ring 🙂 i wish i watched this video before my marriage fell apart … things may have been different …

  5. Hi Brad! This is messy but we had about 3 years on/off relationship. Now the girl said that something just "clicked" and she don't love me anymore that much, just want to be friends anymore. I'm very sure that she wanted to get over with me because she was afraid of getting hurt due to this on/off situation. But I'm 100% sure that I want to be with her (not on/off anymore!!!). I just said that too late thats why I'm so angry at myself. What should I do now to get her back? I really like and respect you, thanks!

  6. Brad,
    My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago and I still talk to her and she answers me back but she likes another guy, we pretty great friends she says but I want her to like me again how do I do that to get her to fall in love with me again

  7. Brad. after one month of no contact, my ex suddenly talked about me to a friend about how she feel bad when she thought I would ignore her when ever I saw her and she said she only saw me as a friend and had no interest in me. Then a week ago I met her, but I kinda acted too much that she noticed that I was ignoring her. When I tried to reach out to her again she kinda ignored me back. Then I just text her to congrate her on her new job and she said she doesnt want this atmosphere and wants us to be friend again. So I just acted like I was calm but I explained myself too much on text somehow she answered me after 1 hour and then no reply. I tried to stay calm so I just said let's be friends again and stop. Next morning she woke up and replied shortly "yeah that would be great". so we chat for 2 lines and then cut the conversation. Her replies were really short and it took her long to replied, I just acted cool. Its 2 days ago and I havent contact her since then. What should I do? should I wait for another week? Or did she saw me as a needy guy again and wanted to cut me off?

  8. Hey Brad,I was just wondering if I could ask you a question?
    My ex girlfriend is dating someone and it looks like it's a rebound. I was just wondering whether you'd advise that I try to re establish contact with her whilst she's still in a relationship with this guy or should I wait for her to dump him then de establish contact? She's removed me from Facebook and unfollowed me on Instagram and hasn't tried to contact me since we broke up a couple of months ago.

  9. my ex said she feels awkward talking to me on text what does this mean and I applied no contact rule also .. help me Brad

  10. hello Brad,I saw one of your videos how to get my ex back
    so I wrote him that the decision about stopping our relationship was a good idea,and as everything in my lofe goes well I hope everything is ok with him too,and he answered me that he saw me in his sleep and was thinkin about me for couples of days,but meeting each other is not a good idea
    i told him that I am ok with his decision,we can stay friends, and he asked me what does it mean? that I don't want to see him?
    I said-that it is his opinion and I respect it,though I cannot imagine why it is not a good idea,
    and he didn't answer me…can You please tell me why? or what to do now? plsssssss

  11. i purchased the exfactor program but then i found you have a marriage program. i didnt know. can i transfer prgrams? i am currently separated abt 3 weeks now. i need help but i need the correct help. what can i do?

  12. Hey Brad,I am now in "No Contact" phase
    Should I post in my snapchat story , that I'm being with friends, being very active, participating in the events, taking trips ant all that stuff. Just to let her know that I'm busy and I acting happy without her. Should I do it ?
    P.s Thanks for helpful videos, best of luck !

  13. Hey brad I've been hanging with my ex lately I've even cuddled with her and slept beside her in bed and she is super close with me. But she told me she's just not ready for a relationship until she's done college and she has brought up the break up and she was sad . But is this where I give up she also said she still loves me . But she said she's not ready because we're in high school. Is this where I give up because I dot see us getting back together now but I want to

  14. Hi Brad, Your video has given me some ideas and let me tell you that mine was a "love" marriage nd now it's falling apart may be.. We have fights over lil issues every single day and at the end He comes and say Sorry to me, that has been an usual routine now. Im soo fed up with this. He says he loves me but again the next moment we plunge deep into a fight. I cant take this anymore… Im sick of it. Everyday We are fighting evn at the drop of the hat. Please suggest me something. Im so clueless…

  15. Hi Brad,
    My sister has separated from her husband after 8 years of dating and a marriage of 3 months. There is a case of domestic violence against him and also suspected psychogenic impotence as there has been no sexual contact since 9 years. She still loves him but unable to trust him due to his extreme behaviors and ego etc. He really was a good guy back then and things changed after marriage and we saw the worst. She is in deep depression, not filed for divorce yet. She is too disturbed to lose him although the marriage has nothing to offer. No communication with him is possible as there is a legal case that she has filed against him. However he contacts once in a while to tell her tht they can start over and he has changed. He has not deeply reassured her and made her forget the bad instances. So she is unable to trust him if this could recur again if she ends up with him again. Also his physical complexities is another huge worry. As uncertainty largely lies there. It's been over a year since they are separated. She is in dilemma yet when she almost has to file for divorce in some months now. What do u recommend as I couldn't help but comment and find your views on it. She is too depressed to help herself and we are really in need of good advice. Does the marriage stand a chance amidst so many complexities? Even the no contact didn't work here at one point. He seems to strike her emotionally at one point. Next he seems to enjoy his freedom. But we all know tht he is having a bad time too now. He is mentally too on/off. And has not put in conscious efforts to save this marriage with more than 90% errors from him. But he wants her back and is not for divorce. Should she trust him again? Too much has happened and he is cold, grudgy and defensive when he talks. He can be too polite too. She is very sensitive and hence this has been a very bad combination after they started living in. Also due to their lack of sex in 9 years. How do you think she could take this further? Is divorce the only solution? If she goes back to him, what's the guarantee tht he will be healed healthwise? And when? What about his egoistic behaviors and the emotional abuse he has put her through? This is the last resort before her divorce and she seeks your help. Looking forward to your inputs. Thanks in advance. 🙂

  16. Almost every man I've ever seen that has had a successful marriage has had one thing in common. They all sounded like a psychiatrist.

  17. My marriage checks everything on that list. Why am I still married then? Because I cannot financially leave. I just avoid him to keep my sanity. I am much happier when I am not thinking about him.

  18. Brad so I had affair with someone at my job. It was an emotional affair. My husband of course found out he put a recorded in my car and listened to my conversations. He wants me to quit the job. I feel like if I do that it will create more resentment because I love my job. He has resentment for me for the affair. Is this just toxic and it will always be resentment back and forth. I am struggling. This is just the problem now. Our problems go much deeper.

  19. Brad, my marriage ticks 6 of these boxes. I am pretty sure he’s got undiagnosed Aspergers but it’s been so hard living with someone who has tantrums, anger management issues and is obsessed with his phone and addiction to clash of clans. He blames me for everything and I think that he resents me. I feel so unloved and drained because of his unmet expectations of me (ie I don’t dote on him like I used to before our children were born).

  20. I been married 24 yrs…i was always saying i love you….she never said not even once.Can i just tell if woman does things behind her….we never find them doing it.
    When as a man does….we get caught

  21. Hey there I hope you can help me I answer yes to like 5 of these I’m not happy and I’m not sure what to do I love my son and I’m afraid if the worst happens she won’t let me see him I’m just not happy with her and I am trying my best to see the positive but it’s hard please send me in the right direction and thanks for your help

  22. Stephanie I agree with you there I'm in the same boat. when he's not around I'm much more relaxed just being by myself might as well be.

  23. tick tick to all. we are young, three kids and its been over for years. we are just living together is separate rooms for the kids.
    he wants to stay and I want out of this mind hell :/
    but what about the kids? would love to know your take on kids being involved

  24. Non of these signs match our marriage but 10 months ago she said I don't want to continue!! We was under pressure due to moving to Canada but we were in our schedule and plan. We had good sex, happy weekends and…. I love her and she always said I love u. After separations, we went to counselling and he said the issues that your wife mentioned can be solved and these are not huge problems. A few family members that I spoke with had same idea that these problems are not the kind of problems that fall apart a marriage. I did whatever she wanted during these 10 months. We have 2 daughters and I can not imagine how our marriage is falling apart. She has not file divorce yet but she said she will. I don't know how should I stop her?

  25. Hey Brad. I have a problem in our relationship. The problem is:- at the moment we are just engagement but i don't wanna merry her, because I love someone other and i wanna merry her, so how can i leave the first one forever because i don't wanna merry her so give me some ideas for that.
    Please give me reply because that's my future question?

  26. I think I need help, I think I dont understand my husband anymore. Everytime I Express my disappointment he shuts me out and gives me the silent treatment not even attempting to work things out. I feel like there is no hope to get through to him as this is his behavior. He always says rude things to me and when I stand up for myself he puts the blame back on me saying he said that because of me which is a very poor explanation for his behavior. Maybe there is no hope for this marriage. Any advice? He also doesnt want to go counseling

  27. We wtached a show a guy broke up with gf and got married had kids with different woman. My husband looked at me and said " they didn't stay together bc they didn't have kids, that's why we need to have kids" I love my husband but he makes me hate myself everyday nothing I do is good enough he holds me back drags me down and is a Bible basher on top of it.

  28. Hii brad we have talk before also u have replied me best Answer n i m following that rules but my ex n me were in relationships for 6 yr everything we did all this 6 year but last year also she broke up with me in the name of marriage but she came back after 15 days bz her new bf was in hurry to marry her and she was not ready so she came back again for 1 yr but now also she broke up again last 17 days we r not talking anymore and everything in between us is over because i told u about india shit reason is Religion/cast.
    My Question is Do aje wil regret after marriage? Do she will miss me? Or she wil come to me?back in future?
    Plz brad answer me when u will have time n when y wil read my comment please. ..

  29. I can honestly say that yes my marriage has ended for the best . it was so so unhealthy even in my best days today . Thank goodness I am able to leave it sober and with a clear mind and a healthier me .

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