A Conversation about MARRIAGE with my Younger Self
Hey daddy I’m going…. Daddy? Wait a minute! Where’s daddy? And who are you? Wait! Wait a minute! Why do you look so much like me and what are you doing here? What do you mean what am I doing here? I live here! What are you doing here? And who are you?
I’m Shehnezi. Who are you? You can’t be Shehnezi! I’m Shehnezi!
But you do look a lot like me… except.. you look… a bit younger. How old are you? How old are you? I’m
28 and I’m also confused… Me too. Maybe this is a dream. I mean if
not, this is seriously crazy. It doesn’t feel like a dream to me. But
wait! What year is this? This room doesn’t really look like how I remember it. (Sigh!)
It’s 2019 of course! 20 what? I was just joking. I mean I know it’s 2014.
Nope I’m positive it’s 2019 what but I looked at the calendar this morning and it said 2014…. I’m so confused!
I mean you look like me, you sound like me, we have the same name.
What is going on? Honestly I have no idea but it seems like you’re my past and I’m
your future. I don’t know how else to explain it. Girl what?! You got some high-grade
something in that tea there or what? I’m your past? Ha! That doesn’t make any sense. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. You’re in 2014. I’m in 2019. We look the same…. except well you look younger. We’re both Shehnezi. We both live here. So I mean how else do you explain it? Well… I don’t know… I mean I definitely see some differences I mean like I have straightened hair and you have natural hair and… wait a minute.. is that a wedding ring? Right so you have a wedding ring on your finger and the cutest dog oh my gosh! Such a cute dog! so I mean, maybe you’re right. Maybe you are my future! Well I decided to go natural a few years ago and I got married
earlier this year and this little puppy here, we got just about two weeks ago. Hmmm, this is really weird but oh my goodness, this is also so cool! Are you saying that you’re me and that I get married and I get this awesome puppy?
So you’re me and I’m your past and you’re my future? Wow! Was I really that slow before? I literally just said that! Whatever!
but this is so cool Wow okay okay so tell me everything like, you
know, how did I get married? Where did I get this cute dog?
Oh my gosh oh my gosh where where’s my husband where’s he? Well first of all,
he’s my husband so reel it in a bit and secondly, why should I tell you? No one
told me what to expect. But wouldn’t you have wanted to know though? Like if you had an opportunity to meet your future self, wouldn’t you have want to talk to her so that she could give you some advice so you know what to avoid like certain mistakes and stuff? You wanna go play Cashew? Honestly I don’t think I would you know. I’ve grown to accept the good as well at the bad. I believe that any small change can
make such a big difference but since this has to be a dream I guess it can’t
hurt to tell you so I’ll tell you a few things that I have learned in the past
five years. What you want to know? Oh Wow okay um… I wish I was prepared for this…let’s see well you married, I’m not, so tell me like what is it like being married
and how does it differ from when you were not married?
Wow, you started with a big one. Well I will tell you that marriage is great but it’s
not easy. You have to be willing to put in the work but it is worth it. To me, marriage has always seemed so glamorous like you have this best friend that you live with and you could talk to them about anything. Well it is, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always see
things eye to eye. Most days we get along great but there are some days I think
both of us wish there was a return option but overall I mean we’ve been in
this for about 4 months now and we’re getting used to each other and learning each
other’s habits and idiosyncrasies and we have some amazing moments that trust me, I wouldn’t trade for the world.
So you asked about differences, and well what I can tell you is that there’s a comfort in
knowing that you have your person that just don’t have when you single. I don’t
know if it’s that legally binding document that you get or what but I feel
a lot more secure. Hmm girl I know that feeling too well, well it’s good to know that the insecurities
go away. Girl what did I say it goes away? I’m human. I still have insecurities they’re just not as bad as they were. Okay, well I welcome any improvement. Anyway what else is different?
Well one thing I never gave much thought to before was just how much time people
have to spend in the kitchen cooking. Now I love to eat but I never really had to
do that much cooking before I got married and I mean even when I lived alone, there were days when I’d just have a sandwich or a bowl of granola for lunch.
I mean it goes without saying that I can’t be giving my husband granola for
lunch. Yeah girl! I be loving a good bowl of granola for lunch. Well make the most of it but I mean my husband is pretty
understanding so we do have the occasional bowl of granola when we’re both tired or we just kinda feel like having some but things really have changed
in that regard. Hmm oh well, I can still have it for breakfast. So not a big deal. Any other differences? Yeah there’s a lot of them! I
mean everything changes! Like your name for instance. Wait! Did you drop Frank? Na I decided to hyphenate. I know there are a lot of people who believe you should drop your last name
and take your husband’s but I’m personally of the belief that marriage should add to your life and so I decided to add his last name without dropping mine. I like that! I always just figured I’d keep my maiden name because mommy kept hers but look at you being all deep and stuff. Well I’d be lying if I said that mommy didn’t play a part in it, but the reason I gave is the
primary one. Plus all of my certificates and so are in my maiden name so it’s a lot easier to show the addition of a name than the replacement
of a name you know so hyphenation works for me. Yeah I get that So any other changes? Wow I don’t
remember being so impatient and inquisitive. I’m getting to them. Sorry
it’s just that if I’m the one dreaming I want to get all these tips before I wake up! You want to remember anyway. I hardly remember my dreams. Fair point but tell me still. Well I’ve had to be a lot more of an adult. I mean I can’t run
to Daddy with everything now as I used to. He is still there and willing to help
but I’ve been trying to be more independent and either do things on my
own or with my husband. Hmm yeah that would be an adjustment for me.It’s not that bad. Just appreciate every stage in your life. I mean I loved being
spoiled rotten but I also really like being independent so I embrace every season
while you’re in it and right now I’m enjoying it being just me, my husband and the dogs. If it’s God’s will that that changes in the future then I look forward to that
but I’m enjoying the season that I’m in while I’m in it. Wait a minute, did you say
dogs? You have more than one dog? Right now we just have one outside. Oh nah I got
two others after so we have three now. And you actually take care of all three of these
dogs? (Ha!) Wow I really have changed. I really hate
cleaning up dog pee and poo. Trust me I still do but that’s one of the
benefits of being married. I mean my husband doesn’t love doing that either. I don’t think there’s anyone who does but he’s willing to do it so he takes care of those
things and I do the parts that I enjoy like feeding them, walking them, bathing them, that kinda stuff, so yeah teamwork is a great benefit of marriage when both
parties are willing to do their part. Well overall marriage sounds great! I can’t wait to get married. It is great but as I said in the beginning it’s also hard work so
don’t rush the process girl. Enjoy your single life. Take the time to
get to yourself better, get to know the Lord better, spend time with your
friends and your family and just grow in who you are and in your purpose. Marriage is great and as I said, it’s worth it. But if you are really me in the past then you
have a couple years to go so enjoy where you are right now. Yeah you’re right. Thanks I’ll try to do that. So any last minute tips before either one of us wakes
up? Well I said a lot already but I’ll give you one more. Marriage has made me way less controlling. I still have a long way to go, don’t get me wrong but I’m
learning not to sweat the small stuff and I’m also learning that many times
it’s better to be happy than to be right. If it’s something major then yes I’ll
definitely stand my ground but if it’s not going to matter in the long run then
it’s not worth it so I guess I’ll say that I’ve gotten
wiser with age so you’ve got something to look forward to.
Well Proverbs 4:7 does say that wisdom is supreme we should get wisdom
and with it understanding so looks like I’m on the right track.
Well this was certainly the weirdest conversation I’ve had in my life. Maybe
this tea really does have something weird in it. But it was really nice chatting nonetheless. It sure was! Anyway get out of my home now so I enjoyed my
tea in peace. But it’s my home too. Well I’m older and I’m wiser so I get to call the shots bye bye Whatever! Huh! That was weird. Hmmm