Tj Host

Wedding Ideas & Inspiration
Darren Criss “Getting Married Today” – Broadway Backwards 2019

Darren Criss “Getting Married Today” – Broadway Backwards 2019


Bless this day,
Pinnacle of joy Boy unites with boy
The heart leaps up to behold This golden day. Darren, I can’t find my other shoe anywhere. Thank you, Prince Charming. Today is for Darren
Darren, I give you the rest of my life To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever Today is for Darren,
My lover, my partner, my life. We are getting married! Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody’s here,
I’d like to thank you all For coming to the wedding. I’d appreciate you going even more,
I mean, you must have lots of better things to do,
And not a word of it to Paul Remember Paul? You know, the man I’m going to marry
But I’m not, because I wouldn’t ruin anyone As wonderful as he is. Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,
Thank you all, now it’s back to the showers Don’t tell Paul, but I’m not getting married
today. Thank you, good night. Bless this day,
Opposite of joy Boy gets yoked to boy
The heart sinks down And feels dead This dreadful day. Darren: now I can’t find my cufflinks. They are on the dresser. Right on top. There you go honey. It’s right next to my suicide note. Listen everybody, look, I don’t know what
you’re waiting for A wedding. What’s a wedding? It’s a prehistoric ritual
Where everybody promises fidelity forever, Which is maybe the most horrifying word I
ever heard of, Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly
he’ll realize He’s saddled with a nut, and want to kill
me, which he should. Thanks you all for the gifts and the flowers
Go have lunch, ’cause I’m not getting married You’ve been grand, but I’m not getting married
Don’t just stand there, I’m not getting married And don’t tell Paul, but I’m not getting married
today. Go! Can’t you go? Why is nobody listening? Goodbye! Go and cry
At somebody else’s wake. If you’re quick, for a kick
You could pick up a christening But please, on my knees,
There’s a human life at stake! Listen everybody, I’m afraid you didn’t hear
Or do you want to see a crazy person fall apart in front of you? It isn’t only Paul who would be ruining his
life You know, we’ll both of us be losing our identities
I telephoned my analyst about it, and he said to see him Monday
But by Monday I’ll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage. I’m not well, so I’m not getting married
You’ve been swell, but I’m not getting married Clear the hall, ’cause I’m not getting married
Thank you all, but I’m not getting married And don’t tell Paul, but I’m not getting married
today. Bless this fool,
Totally insane Slipping down the drain
And bless this day in our hearts As it starts
To rain. Today is for Darren
Darren, I give you the rest of my life To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever Go! Can’t you go? Look, you know I adore you all
But why watch me die Like I’m only being nice. Look, perhaps I’ll collapse
O n the apse right before you all So take back the cake
Burn the shoes, and boil the rice. Today is for Darren,
Look, I didn’t want to have to tell you, But I may be coming down with hepatitis, and
I think I’m gonna faint So if you want to watch me faint, I’ll do
it happily, But wouldn’t it be funnier to go and watch
a funeral? So thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates,
Thirty-seven butter knives, Forty-seven paperweights,
Fifty-seven… One more thing… I’m not getting married. Amen! Softly said… But I’m not getting married. Amen! With this ring… See, I’m not getting married! Amen! I thee wed. Still, I’m not getting married! Let us pray that we are getting married
Today!

100 comments found

  1. Starkid and Glee fan here:

    I just automatically see him as Blaine because his Harry looked so different (?😂), and it’s crazy because when he proposed to Kurt he was so in love with him and he would have never had a second thought on whether or not he wanted to marry him. It’s honestly making me kind of sad sitting here thinking this was going on behind the scenes of their wedding, but, you know, just average overthinking fangirl tings. 😆✌️

  2. Ugggghhh you don't tell a guy you like him, it makes you look like an idiot. No wonder Harry – I mean, Darren – doesn't want to marry you. #SiriusKnewBest

  3. Love Darren Criss,especially in glee and fabulous/totally bonkers and evil in The Killing of Versace.And a gorgeous man.❤️

  4. This pales in comparison to the gay version in the revival of Company in London. That dude practically blows an aneurysm on stage and it’s fantastic.

  5. To the tune of Get back to Hogwarts: (chorus)
    i gotta get back to my wedding
    Gotta get back to the church
    I gotta get back to my wedding
    Where everybody thinks i’m cooool
    Back to family and friends and to dropping those beats
    To wedding vow changes and magical feasts
    That’s all that I want and it’s all that I need
    At weddings, weddings
    I think I’m going back!

  6. Darren why are you getting married you gotta go back to hogwarts and marry ginny then take her to winniepig in canada

  7. Didn't Darren say he wasn't going to play gay characters anymore like, last year? maybe since it was just for a song he made an exception?

  8. This just didn’t work for me . It wasn’t the sexual orientation either! Rather, it was the rewriting, straight toned howls and wrongly accented beats, pitch lack of correct style …and it just felt like a vehicle that was driven off the road. When the groom started to sing correctly at the end it sounded like he ran into a karaoke singer. #nope

  9. michael james scott as the officiant/flowerboy pairing up with the waiter… i see that checking him out at 4:53 and then casually sharing a seat at 5:13
    i love it

  10. Anyone imagine Harry Potter singing this for real? Like come on whatever you ship you must know that boy has a unnecessary guilt list a house wide he must have the same “I don’t want to ruin this pure soul” train of thought ITS SO PERFECT “I’m not getting married cause I can’t take this other amazing human away from someone better”

  11. I love this song! I auditioned for a musical with it once. I brought my sheet music with me, but it's very challenging and their piano accompanist could not play the piece and continuously made errors. The audition didn't really go so well!

  12. I find that part at 4:42 reminding me of when Tyler brunsman comes out with that “CHO CHANG, I AM SO IN LOVE, WITH CHO CHANG”

  13. I love all of this.. even though straight actors play gay all the time, Darren does a lot of gay characters, always made me wonder if his straight marriage is real. Anyway he’s hot, talented and I love him

  14. So thank you for the Twenty-Seven dinner PLateS, THirty-Seven butter KnIvES, FORty-Seven paperWeiGHtS,
    FIFTy-Seven MOthERFu©kERs

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