F*CK MARRY KILL (ft. Jim Chapman) | Tyler Oakley
– Well hello everyone!
My name is Tyler Oakley and I am here with the
one and only Jim Chapman! – Hello!
– How are you? – I’m very well, thank you.
– Good. So today, what are we doing, Jim? – We are playing a game that is called (groans), Marry, Kill. – You can swear on my channel.
– Can I? Fuck, Marry, Kill! – What do you mean, can
you swear on my channel? – I don’t swear, and I feel naughty. – Say it.
– Fuck. Shit. Bollocks.
– Bollocks?! What in tarnation? Say another one though. – I don’t think I know any more. – Ass.
– Ass. – Penis.
– Penis, I say penis. – Dick.
– Dick. – Pussy.
(both laugh) – Pussy.
– Okay, so today we are going to be playing Fuck, Marry, Kill, but with a twist, it’s not just people, it’s YouTubers and celebrities and characters and then inanimate objects. Are you ready for this? – I am going to fuck
some inanimate objects. – I would love to, again. Inanimate objects. – Celebrities slash – – Celebrities slash characters. – Yes, and then YouTubers.
– YouTubers. Okay, are you ready?
– Yes. – We pick one of each, and
then Fuck, Marry, Kill. – Okay, I have got here Caspar, – Caspar Lee.
– Two guinea pigs. The devil.
– Fuck it. – I’m gonna fuck two guinea pigs, because I’ve always wanted a threesome. – Aww, how tender! – But I imagine they’re pretty nibbly. – Yeah, you have to be
careful, a lot of teeth. – Yes, I haven’t even
always wanted a threesome. – Uh-huh.
– I think as an experience – – Don’t lie to me. – What would you do with one? – Don’t you stick guinea pigs up your ass? – Do you? What do you mean, don’t you? – I mean, I don’t, I’m
not saying you do either, I think it’s like a thing. – Since when is it a thing? It probably happened once. – I’m gonna Google it. – Guinea pigs are big!
– Yeah. Yeah. Okay, who are you marrying? (both laugh) Caspar or the devil? – I’m gonna marry Caspar, although there’s not much difference between him and the devil is there? I’m gonna kill the devil. – That’s cute. Cool. So Kim Kardashian, Alfie’s
unverified Twitter account (Jim laughs) – Or Marcus.
– Oh, okay. Hmm, where is this gonna go? – I would marry Marcus. I would fuck Alfie’s
unverified Twitter account and I would make it my bitch, which it already is, it’s fine, and I would kill Kim Kardashian, that was easy, super simple.
– Good answers. A used condom, Grace,
and Katniss Everdeen. Okay. I’m gonna fuck Katniss, because she’s probably filthy because she’s killed people and stuff. – Oh, like in the bedroom, I thought you were talking
about like, cleanliness. – All over. I’m gonna marry Grace, because Grace is great,
which means I’m gonna get rid of the used condom. – Wow.
– Because once it’s been used, they’re only really good
for once, aren’t they? – That’s true. Pikachu, Joe Sugg, okay, and a dead body. – Amazing!
– Great. I don’t know if I want
to fuck a dead body. Joe, I think it’s time we fuck. (laughs) – But then you’ve got to marry either a dead body or Pikachu. – But I’m not – I can’t fuck Pikachu. – It’s kind of tingly.
– It would shock me. – Yeah but it might be a good experience. – It might electrify my dick, but then if I fuck a dead
body, that could be worse. – I mean, it’s gonna be worse. – I guess I’ll have to marry Pikachu. That wouldn’t be bad! – Well, the thing is, if you marry Joe, you could have sex with
Joe whenever you want to. – That’s not how it works. You just marry and are in love. But dead body’s gotta be dead more. I’d kill it again. – Oprah.
– Oprah, okay. – A plunger.
(Tyler laughs) Hannah.
– Aww! – I would marry Hannah, because she’s amazing. I would have sex with Oprah, because – – Not the plunger? It
comes with two sides! You can do whatever you want! – But Oprah’s like, one
of the most powerful women in the world, so I’d quite like to be her bitch for the evening. The plunger, I mean – – You’re getting rid of the plunger? – It’s probably good for you – – It could be good for you!
– I don’t know! – I feel like it could.
– I’m not really into that. – I could teach you a few things, no, you don’t have to – you
could use the other end. – Both ends though, they only
go to one area, aren’t they? – No, you’re not gonna plunge your ass! – Well, I can’t plunge my penis! – Listen. Never say never,
I will show you the way. Alfie Deyes, a huge
buttplug, did you write that? – I did.
– Wow. Great. I was like, I didn’t write that. And then, Cher! Okay well, this is hard. Alfie, oh goodness me. I don’t know. – The only way I see it, is
Cher’s hanging in there anyway, so you might as well just knock her off or you give her one last night of passion. – I can’t just kill Cher! I have to marry Cher. – But she’s not gonna last much longer. – Then I could go on
and marry someone else! That’s how love works. Okay, I’m gonna keep Cher and marry her. Between Alfie and a huge buttplug, I don’t know who I’m gonna fuck! Alfie, I’m sorry, but – – You’re gonna kill Alfie?
– No, I’m gonna fuck Alfie! – Oh!
– I gotta fuck you! Alfie, we’ll see how
much you can please me. Just know I killed a buttplug for you. – Beyonce. – You can’t kill Beyonce. – Can you imagine if I did?
– I would kill you. – Bethany.
– Bethany Motta. – Bethany Motta, and a watermelon. – You could totally fuck a watermelon! – Well I’m thinking I’m
gonna hollow it out, not hollow it out, but cut a
hole in the outside and tap it. – Is that the sound?
– You know it, on the outside. Cut a hole in it, it’s quite
seedy though, isn’t it? Got a lot of dips in it. – The texture, a textured experience. So you’re planning on
fucking the watermelon? – Well I don’t know, because that means sometimes I like Beyonce,
sometimes I don’t. – Literally no, I don’t
know what you mean. – I don’t know, I’m gonna
fuck the watermelon. I’m gonna marry Beyonce and – – See, I agree with that. Bethany, I love you, but
I’ve gotta fuck a watermelon once in my life, I’m sorry. – Go to the supermarket now. Okay, here we go. (laughs) Voldemort.
– Okay. – I have a thing for Voldemort, he’s my favorite character from that book. – What do you mean, you
have a thing for Voldemort? – I just, I feel like we connect. IIsuperwomanII.
– Okay, Lily. – Okay, right, that’s what you meant. – Not actual Superwoman,
Lily the YouTuber. – And a Wellie boot.
– What is a Wellie boot? – A Wellie boot is one of these. – My rainboots, they have been making fun of my rainboots all weekend! – Why did you bring them with you? – In case I need to splash in a puddle! Or if I need to fuck something! Who are you gonna fuck, my rainboot? – No, I think I’m going to fuck Voldemort. – What?! – Because like, he’s really good at magic and I feel like stuff could happen. – He doesn’t have a nose! – I don’t know, I’m just intrigued, by like, how it would go! And also, he’s got no nose, so I wonder what else is going on. And he’s smooth, he’s got no hair. – You like that.
– I don’t know if I like it. – So you’re fucking Voldemort. – Yes, I’m gonna marry
Lily, although I’ve never actually met her before.
– Really? – No.
– Oh, she’s great. – So I’m gonna marry her, sorry. – But then you’re killing my rainboot? – I mean, look at it. – It’s a great rainboot. – As far as rainboots go, it’s good, but – – How dare you.
– Why did you bring it? – So that was fun! – I learned a lot about myself. – What did you learn?
You’d fuck a rainboot – No, you’d fuck Voldemort. – And a watermelon.
– And a watermelon. Well I learned – what did I learn? – I don’t think there’s anything that you can learn about yourself. – I know everything about myself. I know who I would
fuck, listen, it’s fine. Well, if you guys like this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe, and subscribe to Jim, because over on his
channel, what did we do? – We did –
– YouTube families! – How did you forget? – We picked who would be
in our YouTube family, so go check it out, the
link is right there, or the link is below, and
go give him some love, because I absolutely adore Jim, and yeah! – Thank you very much for having me. – Thanks for coming on! Bye friends! Fuck Spiderman.
– Naked. – With like, the mask on – – He could make, like,
a sex swing for you. – Sex swing, upside down kissing, every position is possible. A lot of shooting – – Even I would fuck Spiderman. – White stuff – Really?