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Wedding Ideas & Inspiration

Jordan Peterson – The Shackles of Marriage

seeing the other thing about marriage this is really worth knowing too is that I’ve learned this in part from reading Young’s like what do you do when you get married that’s easy you take someone who’s just as useless and horrible as you are and then you shackle yourself to them and then you say we’re not running away no matter what happens yeah well that that’s perfect because then you don’t get to run away and the thing is is like if you can run away you can’t tell each other the truth because if you tell someone the truth about you and they don’t run away they weren’t listening and so if you don’t have someone around to count run away then you can’t tell them the truth and so that’s part of the purpose of the marriage it’s like okay okay I’ll bet on you you bet on me too losing bet we both know that but given our current circumstances were unlikely to find anyone better that’s for sure you know there’s two things would come off of that one is you know people are waiting around to find mr. or mrs. right it’s like here’s something to think about man to put yourself on your feet right if you went to a party and you found mr. right and he looked at you and didn’t run away screaming that would indicate that he wasn’t mr. right at all right it’s like the old Nietzsche and joke if someone loves you that should immediately disenchant you with them right right or it’s the Woody Allen joke I never belong to a club that would take me as a member so so that’s a that’s an interesting that’s a very interesting thing to think about and so you’re going to shackle yourself to someone who’s just as a as imperfect as you are and then the issue is you you you might be in a situation where you can actually negotiate because you might think well there’s some things about you that aren’t going so right and there’s some things about me that aren’t going so right and we’re bloody well stuck with the consequences for the next 50 years so we could we can either straighten this out or we can suffer through it for the next five decades and you know people are of the sort that without that degree of seriousness those problems will not be solved you’ll leave things unnamed because there’s always an else like and it’s the same thing when you’re living together with someone you know that people who live together before they’re married are more likely to get divorced not less likely and the for that is what exactly are you saying to one another when you live with each other just think about it well for now you’re better than anything else I can trick but I’d like to reserve the right to trade you in conveniently if someone bitter happens to stumble into me well how could how could someone not be insulted to their core by an offer like that now they’re willing to play along with it because they’re going to do the same thing with you now well that’s exactly it it’s like yeah yeah I know you’re not going to commit to me so that means you don’t value me or our relationship above everything else but as long as I get to escape if I need to then I’m willing to put up with that it’s like that’s a hell of a say I mean you might think how stupid is it to shackle yourself to someone it’s like it’s stupid man there’s no doubt about that but compared to the alternatives it’s pretty damn good because without that shackling there are things you will never ever learn because you’ll avoid them you can always leave and if you can leave then you don’t have to tell each other the truth it’s as simple as that because you can just leave and then you don’t have anyone you can tell the truth to [Applause]

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