Tj Host

Wedding Ideas & Inspiration
Sci-Fi Short Film “The Universe of Scotch and Häagen Dazs” presented by DUST

Sci-Fi Short Film “The Universe of Scotch and Häagen Dazs” presented by DUST

(uplifting music) ♪ Waltz with me ♪ ♪ Waltz with me ♪ ♪ For I’m not alone ♪ ♪ Cry with me ♪ ♪ Cry with me ♪ ♪ You’re far from home ♪ (Penelope snoring) ♪ It’s been hours ♪ (Penelope snoring) ♪ It’s been days ♪ (Penelope snoring) – Penelope? – Hmm. Pen? – Hmm, hmm, what? – Nothing. – What? – Nothing. – Can you get me water? (Penelope snoring) (mysterious energy buzzing) (door creaking) (glasses clinking) (water flowing) – Oh shit. – Shh. – Are you me? – I’ll explain. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Shall we? Do you have any ice cream? In my universe, they banned sugar. I can afford it on the black market, but– – There’s some Butter Pecan
but it might be a little icy. – Hmm, hmm, hmm. I was hoping for Haagen-Dasz, but thanks. Anyway, I’m a you from another universe. One of the many yous from
many, many universes. I, Dan Levy, had invented a way to travel between these universes to visit the literally infinite versions of you, me, Dan Levy. – Sure, the universe is so vast with so many possibilities
that there could be– – Is. – Is, a universe for each and
every decision I’ve ever made. – Or will make. Right, I’ve devoted my life to mes, hearing those stories and decisions and most relevantly,
arranging an exchange program. – So I’d go live in another universe? – For a while, and another
you would live here, like a timeshare. – You’re gonna charge me for this? – Yeah, and I killed the guy who decided to do this pro bono, so don’t wait around for him (laughs) I’m joking. About killing him, he really does exist. Although yeah, there’d be a
universe where I killed him. And one where he killed me. Fuck. – Sure could use some scotch
to wash down this ice cream. – I don’t drink scotch
anymore, bad experience. – Dammit, anyway let’s
talk about your options. – So I’d be a different Dan Levy. – Well, sort of. – What? – Cool right? iPad invisible three, I’m from a universe where Gore won, 9/11 didn’t happen, all the Iraq war money
went to cancer research, Steve Jobs lives and now we have this. Though, don’t get too excited, there are a whole bunch of universes where we are really sorry Saddam Hussein is still in power. Frankly, there are a bunch of universes where we’re sorry Steve Jobs is in power. So there are universes where,
you went to grad school. Universes where you went
to Spain to teach ESL. Where you went to Spain to be a matador. Where you smoke a lot of weed. Where you deal a lot of weed. Where you do a lot of weeding. Universes where you know kung fu. Where you want to kill yourself. – Dark. – Not as dark as the
universes where you did. Universes where you saved
the president’s life. Where you saved Christmas. Where you saved the life of a little boy, who would become the next Hitler. – Why would I wanna go to that universe? – That’s a question only you can answer. – Universes where– – I’ll do it. – What, the Hitler one? – It doesn’t matter. I mean, I’d prefer, not
the Hitler one but– – Nice! All right, so it’s a
$1000, cash upon return. – That’s it? – Hey man, we’re family, plus
the dollar’s pretty strong in my universe. That is all pretty standard
stuff you’re signing, guaranteeing payment, liability. Couple of weird things you should know. I can put you in a universe where the Lost finale doesn’t suck. And I can put you in a universe where the Star Wars prequels don’t suck, but we still haven’t found a universe where they both don’t suck. – That’s fucked up. – Yeah, I know, there’s a lot I don’t understand about science. I could put you in a universe where you’re still married to Penelope. Or I could put you
elsewhere, but either way you’ll have to sign a
standard Dan Levy gets to fuck my wife waiver. But he’ll sign one for you,
the you who comes here. No, trust me, no one even
notices, least of all her. Don’t think about that too much. And most important,
don’t step on anything. The slightest change to the environment, even a crushed blade of grass could cause irreparable
harm to the future. – Really? – (laughs) No, Sci-Fi humor. But, you know, we respect an honor code. Like, don’t quit your job
because it’s gonna blow up stuff for the Dan Levy who lives there. Or, you know, don’t cheat on
your new universe’s Penelope. But he’ll do the same for you, the other Dan Levy, same team. Then, we just pick a day. – No, now. – My man. So many moments where something else could have happened, did happen. You’ll get to live in one. All right, spin the
wheel, see where it lands. – I wanna be taller. – Huh? – Me, but taller, I’d like to be taller. – Oh, oh Dan, that’s not how this works. In some universes we swap
you in and it’s just, “Ah, Dan looks great, he
must have lost some weight”. Or, “Dan looks like crap he
must have lost some hair.” But taller? Tall Dans are, they’re
really different Dans. – Well that, that sucks. – Not our fault though,
they’re the universes where mom breastfed us. Oh man, those tall guys are the worst. So damn happy, just way up there. I’m like, “Hey, you
wanna try another uni?” Nope, I did my Lost, Star Wars thing, you know what they said? Literally, all of them,
“They’re not that bad. “Stop being so cynical, little Dan.” – And they sound like dicks. – Yeah, but they’re not. Some of them cooked for me, some of them keep in touch, fuckers. (Penelope snoring) – Usually, I’m the snorer. It always keeps her up, but
she’s so nice to me about it. I don’t do anything to
fix it, I need to fix it. She started snoring when she got pregnant. And I still haven’t told her she does it. Are you happy? Is there any universe where we just, just choose to be happy? (Penelope snoring) I’m going back to bed, I’ll
pay you the money of course. – What the hell, this will be the universe where I tear up the paperwork. You know, there’s a universe where you go. – Yeah, I hope he’s happy too. – You want me to check back in? Next year? – I think I’m okay. But if you wanna come by,
say hello or whatever, I promise I’ll have scotch
and Haagen-Dasz ready to go. From now on this will be the universe where I always have
scotch and Haagen-Dasz. – Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Dan. (glass clinks) – Hey, Penelope, we’re
gonna breastfeed, right? – That isn’t even a question. Just protect me from
your mother’s judgment. – Deal. (Penelope snoring) Hey. – Hmm-mm. – You’re you, right? – No, I’m not me, I’m a fucking whale with an alien kicking
my ribs all the time. – There are so many
universes that billions of you are making decisions differently than the version of you
that’s here with me. – Well, fuck those guys. – Yeah, yeah, that’s what I thought. (Penelope sighs) (Penelope snores) ♪ Waltz with me ♪ ♪ Waltz with me ♪ ♪ For I’m not alone. ♪ ♪ Cry with me ♪ ♪ Cry with me ♪

71 comments found

  1. The premise behind this "short" is nonsensical. People who don't know what the fuck they're talking about should NOT be "thinking" about science.

  2. Enjoy what you have before you lose it. What you want is just a daydreaming action. And remember: "You are not perfect either. Especially if you consider you'll be judged by someone else's standards, you have no control of."

  3. i think because the snoring was brought up several times it places a doubt about which wife is he with. he is wondering now.

  4. Thank you so very much for a not "everything is going to blow up", neither "this is so fucking depressing" but happy ci-fi short film. Really, thank you. I enjoyed that.

  5. Ah! There’s hope for DUST after all! Before watching, I had said that if it sucks like the others I would never watch again.

  6. Infinite universes doesn’t mean infinite possibilities though, that isn’t how infinites work.

    There are an infinite amount of total numbers, and infinite number of even numbers. But only half of all the total numbers can ever be even

  7. Total crap. Soooo cheap. Like can you imagine yourself seeing yourself with the same reaction? "Oh, shit, are you me?" Seriously???

  8. "Farinhite 451" and "Big Brother" is the new reality. Google reconition, commerce chip, new world order, opra spiritualism, Tom cruz scientology, obamaian deep state government, global government guru's of soros, palosian dictatorship, schifty politics, democratic social assassinasions on morality, scotch on hagendas with infanticidal agenda's……this is is the current reality of amerika?

  9. Don´t follow films Saddam logic. Fist helping Saddam even during his use of chemical weapons on his own citizens and Iranians, and he was the good guy, then litte later he becomes a bad guy, even he asked can he invaded Kuwait from the USA. I bet it was Saudi-Arabia than pressured USA leaders to go to war, twice. Still no "smoking weapon". Basically, the fall of Saddam and USA funding to Islamic groups created then ISIS, etc. and Iraq is still in the brink of Civil war. Saddam was a dictator but much less than an example Saudi family. Basically modernized Iraq.

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