Tj Host

[MUSIC PLAYING] ELISSA WALL: I was horrified
at the prospect of embarking on my wedding night. Even with all my
clothes on, I still couldn’t imagine being in the
same room by myself with a man. It wasn’t just that I
was afraid of Allen. I was overwhelmed at the idea
of being in bed with him. As a naive
14-year-old FLDS girl, I had no idea that people
did more than sleep in bed. Her testimony
was the first time that you had sexual
intercourse, you undressed her, and she was sobbing and
crying and shaking in fear. That’s not what you recall. No. ELISSA WALL: The truth
was that I knew nothing about sex, absolutely nothing. I didn’t even know
that sex existed. That was an excerpt from
Elissa Wall’s new book. It’s called “Stolen Innocence.” Elissa grew up in Warren
Jeffs’ polygamous sect and was forced to
marry at the age of 14. This is the actual dress that
she wore on her wedding day. And how did you
find out you were getting married, number one? ELISSA WALL: I received
word I was getting married from my father at the time. He was not my biological father. But he was an appointed
father at the time. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And he had gathered us
in a family gathering. And he just mentioned to the
family that three of his girls were going to be married. And he had quite a significant
amount of young girls. And then later on, he brought
me aside with my mother and told me that I was
one of those young girls. OPRAH WINFREY: Wow. And what did you think
at first or feel? At first, I was shocked. There was many girls older than
myself that were in his family. And it was very shocking. I thought for sure
he actually had me confused with another
one of his daughters. But after questioning, he
assured me that, yes, it was me that was going to be married. OPRAH WINFREY: Yeah. And I heard from
“Stolen Innocence” that you actually went and
begged not to be married. Yes, I did, several times. OPRAH WINFREY: Who did you beg? Well, I petitioned to both my
appointed father, Warren Jeffs, and then the prophet who
was the leader at the time. Mm-hm. And what did you say? I asked them if
they could wait. I wanted at least
two years to grow up. And then when I later found
out who I was to be married to, who was my cousin,
that really upset me. And that’s also one
thing I begged them, is that they could at least
find someone else for me to marry other than my cousin. Now, do they decide? Or did your cousin ask for you? Absolutely. The people of that culture, they
believe in placement marriage, arranged marriages. The people who are
actually in the marriage do not decide for themselves. The leader or someone acting
on the prophet who they call the leader on his behalf is the
one who arranges the marriages and decides who goes with who. So when you said
you married, you didn’t even know what sex was. You say in the book that at
the time that you married, you thought that beds
were just for sleeping. Yes. OPRAH WINFREY: Yes. And so how did you
come– obviously– come to know differently? Well, I was like many,
many girls from there. They don’t teach a
sexual knowledge. They don’t teach
you human anatomy. I mean, it goes from mother to
mother who decides what they want to tell their daughters. OPRAH WINFREY: But after your
mother knew you were going to get married, there
isn’t a kind of, you know, even in some
cultures, the women then try to school the
girls as to what’s going to happen on your wedding
night and to prepare you. No. I was told that my
husband would do that, that he would be the one
that would explain it to me. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And that’s a
very common thing– OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. –that they leave it for the
husband to do the education. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. Did you consummate the
marriage on the wedding night? No, the marriage was not
consummated till a little while after. But when it did happen, I
mean, it was very shocking. It was very traumatic. Coming from a very innocent mind
where I knew nothing of even the anatomy of my own body– OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. –and then to go
from 0 to 100 was really hard and overwhelming. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And who did you have
to talk to about that? No one. They teach very heavily
as you’re growing up that those relations, any
kind of sexual relations, or as they call it
marital relations, they teach that you
only communicate that with your husband, that it
is so sacred and so private that you don’t have the right
to tell other people about it. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. So I didn’t have anyone
to talk to about it. OPRAH WINFREY: Born into
the polygamist sect known as the FLDS, Elissa
Wall was just 14 years old when she was told
it was time for her to marry. A husband who also happened to
be her 19-year-old first cousin was chosen for her. Devastated, Elissa says
she begged the church’s leaders to reconsider her fate. Warren Jeffs, the prophet who
is now in prison for accessory to rape, told
Elissa her marriage was a revelation from God
and could not be refused. Is it common to
marry your cousins or other close relatives? It’s common in
that culture, yes. It’s definitely something
they don’t taboo. You see it quite a bit. It’s never as close
as father and sister. But it does happen quite a bit. Is there a concern– well, I don’t know, if
nobody talks about sex, do they ever talk
about birth defects? Is there concern
about marrying– Well, as I was told, was
that because the prophet and God condoned this marriage
there was no concern for that. Mm-hm. And they had told me that
because God and the prophet, this was their will, that
there would not be a problem. OPRAH WINFREY: OK. When you got married and you’re
having sex with your husband, do you know that two
people consummating a marriage, intercourse,
did you know that that was called intercourse? Absolutely not. They really don’t have
those terms in that culture. They don’t use “intercourse”
or “sex” very often. They have their
own terms for it. So no, I did not know
that I was having– OPRAH WINFREY: What
is their term for it? What is their term? They very often
use marital relations or husband-wife relations– OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. –terms like that. They don’t usually say
“sex” or “intercourse.” Where did you think
babies came from? [CHUCKLING] I was told
they came from heaven. I didn’t know at the
time what it took physically to have a child. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And even when the actual
intercourse happened, it was very long time before
I came to the understanding that that’s what happens. OPRAH WINFREY: Yeah,
you write in the book how traumatizing that was. Absolutely. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. What did your husband say? Well, he told
me that that was– it was the prophet’s
and God’s will, that this was his job and
right as a husband of mine. So OK, we’re going to
look at a picture here. What’s going on in that picture? Wow. [CHUCKLING] That picture
was taken on our honeymoon just shortly after
we were married. Then my father at the time
sent us on a honeymoon. And throughout the honeymoon,
I was having a hard time– OPRAH WINFREY: Where’d you go? It was kind of
just a road trip. We went down through Arizona,
New Mexico, a piece of Texas, different places like that. And throughout the honeymoon,
I was very offish to Allen, my appointed husband. And he couldn’t
get me to kiss him. And the other people,
the other couples that were on the actual
honeymoon with us, had dared me to kiss him. So other couples
are on the honeymoon? ELISSA WALL: Yes, they were. This is as different
kind of honeymoon. Yes. [LAUGHTER] [CHUCKLING] OK, other
couples are on the honeymoon– ELISSA WALL: Mm-hm. –who were also married. ELISSA WALL: They were married
the same day I was, yes. So it’s a honeymoon
group thing. Yeah. OK. And it was definitely
not your typical honeymoon. OPRAH WINFREY: Meaning? Well, most of the girls didn’t
know their husband beforehand. So it’s kind of a get
to know one another. I mean, there was no romantic
getaways or things like that. It was very uncomfortable
for me, anyway. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And as far as the
kissing picture, they couldn’t get
me to kiss him. So Allen just grabbed
me one day and just brought me in for a kiss. And you know, even as
I look at it today, it hurts me to see that
I was so uncomfortable, I was blocking him with both
my arms to push him away. Well, Elissa’s former
husband, Allen Steed has been charged with
one count of rape. We contacted him. And his attorney
gave us a statement saying that Allen
has pled not guilty and is contesting
all of the charges that he’s anticipating at trial. ELISSA WALL: He started to
undress me and undress himself. I was crying. And I was, like, please, I– I don’t want you doing it. It doesn’t feel right. Please stop. Please quit. I can’t do this. I’m just begging him to
stop or at least explain to me what he was doing. That was the
voice of Elissa Wall as she testified in the
Warren Jeffs trial last year. She is the reason the polygamist
leader is in prison today. Jeffs was convicted as
an accomplice to rape by forcing Elissa to
marry her first cousin when she was only 14 years old. And how did you feel when you
heard that guilty verdict? It was very bittersweet. I felt that justice
had been served. I was grateful that
I wasn’t the one that had to make that decision. But I knew that there
was so many thousands of people that were praying
that he would get off. And I knew that they
would never understand. And I knew how bad
it would hurt them. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And were you worried what
they would think of you? Well, I knew that they
thought of me as someone who had left their church and as evil. But I knew that I had
to tell the truth. And for whatever their
opinion is of me, then I just want
them to know that I still love them very dearly. Well, at the age
of 17, Elissa escaped her marriage and the polygamous
sect with her boyfriend Lamont. So how’d you get a
boyfriend in there? [LAUGHTER] It was a miracle. I had been married for a while. And it had been a very
hard couple of years. It had gotten to a point
where I was living– I would sleep in my vehicle. And one wintry cold night, he
helped me change a tire out in the middle of nowhere. And he started to kind of
investigate my situation and– How did you get it out
in the middle of nowhere because I’m thinking that
you’re all in a compound kind of situation. Well, the town we
lived in southern Utah on the border of Arizona is– yes, it’s all FLDS
that are there. But there’s not a
fence around it. It’s not nearly as
secluded as this. Yes, it’s kind of in
the middle of a desert. And so you can
drive a half a mile, and you’re considered in
the middle of nowhere. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And so it’s not necessarily a
compound like they have today. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. So were you sleeping
in your car? Are you allowed to work
outside of the compound? Can you mingle with other
people who are not of the sect? It’s definitely frowned upon. Some do work outside,
especially the men. The men work on the outside. But for the girls,
for myself, anyway, I did most of my work inside the
city, the town that we lived. They had a restaurant
and different things like that that was
owned and operated by the members in the town. OPRAH WINFREY: OK. All right, so you met Lamont. He helped you fix a tire. ELISSA WALL: Yes. And some woo-woo started. Well, it was a
friendship for a long time. And I was coming out of a
very, very intense relationship with my appointed husband. And it was– I on– It was fate. It was a higher power working
in my life to answer my prayers. So Elissa and Lamont are now
married and have two children. Lamont also grew up
in a polygamous family and says even though
he left that he’s not against plural marriage. No? I don’t think the
issue is plural marriage. I think in a society that we
live in where people can make their choices as
adults, they should be able to make those choices. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. Where the problem comes in is
when you’re abusing and forcing girls that are
definitely not old enough to make the choice for themself
into a plural relationship. And then you try to
hide that relationship. So your opposition is that– clearly, what you’ve
stated is children being forced to marry– Absolutely. OPRAH WINFREY: –as Elissa
was at an early age. Absolutely. OPRAH WINFREY: But say,
would you be opposed to taking a second wife? I personally would. Yeah, I wouldn’t. It’s not for me. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. But wouldn’t judge
somebody else who did. But I’m not going
to judge someone else who truly believes that’s
a tenant of their religion. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. If he wanted to
take a second wife, how would you feel about that? [CHUCKLING] I personally could
not live in plural marriage. I’ve seen it happen. And I’m not too sure
I could do that. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. It’s just for me personally,
it’s really hard when you put women in a position
where they have to compete for a man’s love. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. OK. Elissa’s older
sister Teresa also testified against Warren Jeffs. Just two years ago, she escaped
from a compound in Canada with her three children. And you left why? You know, I was extremely
unhappy being there. But the biggest drive for me
to leave was my three kids. I didn’t want my two girls going
through what my sister did. I didn’t want them getting
married at a young age. And I wanted them to
have the education that kids don’t get there. Are the children educated? No. They’re– That was a [SIGHING]. – I got an answer for that.
– What is that? Not traditionally. They’re not traditionally
educated like what you would see in a public school here.
OPRAH WINFREY: OK. They have their basics–
mathematics, spelling. But it’s mostly a
religious education. And they started homeschooling
or priesthood schools where the agenda or the
curriculum that was taught was completely based
on religious teachings. LISA LING: But FLDS teachings. Yeah, or FLDS teachings. Absolutely. Mm-hm. So did you think
growing up being raised in that environment
that what you were experiencing was normal? Did you know that
there was another life? I didn’t know
there was another– OPRAH WINFREY: Another way of– No, I had no idea
there was another– I only knew what I had
been taught to believe and what I had
lived all my life. I mean, it was all I knew. And I had no idea of what
the outside world was like. OPRAH WINFREY: Mm-hm. And so was it a shock to you? Yes, it was very hard
to adjust into what we would say the real world is. What about it was hard
for you, too, Teresa? What was hard? Oh, you know,
definitely seeing my kids go through this huge cultural
change, that was really hard. But, you know– OPRAH WINFREY: Well, you all
came out and redid your hair, I see.
ELISSA WALL: [LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER] You know– Everybody came out and
got rid of those hairdos. [LAUGHTER] You all came out and went
straight to the beauty parlor. [LAUGHTER] It’s a completely
different world. It really is.
OPRAH WINFREY: Yeah. It’s like taking
someone from Mars, sticking them on the real
world, and saying, OK, live.