Vote “No” to Marriage Equality
If you’re anything like me, then I imagine your news feed
is being bombarded by messages with why you should vote
“Yes” for gay marriage. That’s why we thought it’s important
to present a balance of arguments. Here’s a bunch of reasons
why you should vote… No. Marriage is clearly defined
within Australian law as between a man and a woman. And it’s important that we
preserve this definition rather than say, preserving, like,
I don’t know… the Great Barrier Reef. You can’t just redefine a word. It would be not very nice, would it? It would be quite silly if people
had to go and re-learn the new definition of some word
that they’ve been using for ages. That would be awful. Vote “No” because who knows
what’s going to happen. Like you could make a choice and it’s kind of like
the butterfly effect, it could set off a chain reaction of
events that could lead to anything. For example, I could drop this pen… and then… You have to vote “No” because
first you allow gay marriage, and then next people want
to marry cats and dogs and go polygamous
and polyamorous and then society’s
very foundations crumble. You know, just because that hasn’t
happened in… Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Columbia, Denmark, Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands,
New Zealand, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, the UK, USA
or Uruguay… Doesn’t mean it won’t happen here. As a right wing conservative
you should vote “No”, because that’s the default opinion
of a ring wing conservative. And having these default opinions
saves us the time and effort of thinking about a given issue
on it’s own merit. This whole political correctness
thing’s gone far enough. Everyone telling you you can’t
say this, you can’t do that. We’ve got to fight back by saying,
“No – you can’t get married,
you can’t do that.” If gay marriage becomes legal, businesses who deny their services
to gay couples might be discriminated against
for their discriminatory policies. In fact, prejudice against bigots could increase
all round the country. Imagine a dystopian future in which
bigots are so discriminated against they’re not even allowed
to marry other bigots for fear of raising bigot children. Wouldn’t that be unfair? Because children need
a mum and a dad. It doesn’t matter
what the mum’s like, what the dad’s like,
how much they hate each other, how much they resent the children,
how much meth they smoke. Yeah, what’s really important it that
one has a penis and one has a vagina. Vote “No” because
the “fair go” has got to go, and give way to the “fair no”. In fairness it’s not a hard no,
it’s a fair no. You had a go, good on ya.
But no. It’s one thing for lesbians
to have sex in a porno that I’m jacking off to, it’s another thing for them to do so
within the sanctity of marriage. Quite frankly it’s immoral. If the gay people can get married then what’s the point
of being straight? You may as well just be gay….. Vote “No”, because the Bible
clearly states that homosexuality is unnatural. Yeah, you know the bible? The… The one with the flat earth
and the talking donkey, talking bush…
talking snake… resurrection…
walking on water… evil periods…
sea parting… … woman turning into
a pillar of salt… … giant people-eating fish… …marrying your rapist… … families populating entire cities
through two generations of incest… … walls falling to the power
of trumpets… … dude get’s a haircut, and he’s no longer the
strongest man in the world… …stopping the sun to win a war… …rib woman…
throwing babies at walls… …where a dude put two
of every animal on a boat to escape a giant flood
when everyone else on earth died… …where plants grow
before sunlight… …where the Tower of Babel
was built so high it nearly touched Heaven and God
just flicked everyone off the top and scattered them around the world and that’s why we have people
who speak different languages… …an angel of death killing
every first-born baby in Egypt… says that homosexuality
is unnatural, so… Yeah. So there you have it. All the reasons why you should
vote “No” in the plebiscite. Because hearing a balance of
arguments is way more important than whether or not any of
those arguments make sense. Totally.
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